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For new parents, the postpartum period is fraught with emotional upheavals. Learning to care for a tiny human being is no small task, what with the sleepless nights, the constant crying, and the diaper blow-ups monopolizing your days.
Speaking of diaper blow-ups, have you ever wanted to throw that diaper pail against the wall?
It’s totally okay if you have.
No, it’s not postpartum depression (PPD), which affects about one in eight new mothers.
No, not postpartum anxiety (PPA), which affects about 10-20% of new moms.
This is something different, and it has a name. Postpartum rage.
Yasmin Regan, a mother of three, was diagnosed with both PPD and PPA when she was two weeks postpartum with her second child. But she also started noticing “an intense feeling of anger like never before,” she tells Rescripted. “My body would feel so incredibly hot, and I just felt so lost and so hopeless. Small things that would never bother me, like the dog barking, took me to another dimension. I felt so broken and so alone. I also felt really embarrassed because I didn’t think other people experienced it.”
Considering PPD and PPA are such well-covered topics in the postpartum world, under the Perinatal Mood and Anxiety Disorders (PMADs) umbrella, experiencing postpartum rage can feel incredibly scary for new moms. But we’re here to assure you that what you’re feeling is completely normal.
What is postpartum rage?
“Postpartum rage refers to intense feelings of anger, irritability, and agitation that can emerge in the weeks and months after giving birth,” explains Melissa Bronstein, LICSW, a licensed independent clinical social worker with a private therapy practice in Massachusetts. “The term is often used to describe intense emotional experiences a new mother might face, and might look like being quicker to anger/lash out and a decreased frustration tolerance.”
Postpartum rage can vary from person to person, but some common symptoms are:
- Intense anger
- Heightened irritability
- A shorter temper
- Increased emotional outbursts
“You might find yourself reacting more strongly to everyday stressors or feeling like your usual coping mechanisms are no longer working,” says Bronstein. “These feelings can be overwhelming and distressing.”
Bronstein also points out that postpartum rage can be related to pre-existing diagnoses of PPD or PPA — as in Regan’s case. But, Bronstein notes, that postpartum rage “can also exist independently — which is why it’s important that we talk more openly about it.”
Why have I never heard of postpartum rage before?
One of the reasons why postpartum rage isn’t as familiar as, say PPD or PPA, is because it “isn’t a formal diagnosis in the DSM,” says Bronstein. (DSM stands for the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders, Fifth Edition.) Healthcare providers, however, do often consider postpartum rage as a PMAD symptom.
Also, research into postpartum rage is “still limited,” says Bronstein. She notes that clinicians do acknowledge “a history of mental health conditions, a traumatic birth experience, and/or lack of support in the postpartum period can increase the risk [of postpartum rage].” But it’s important to remember that “these factors don’t cause postpartum rage on their own, but they can potentially contribute to vulnerability during an already intense time.”
Plus, observes Bronstein, “there's still a lot of stigma around women's mental health in general, and especially postpartum mental health.” Not helping matters is the fact that “rage is an emotion that society often sees as less acceptable for women to express, especially new mothers.” We’re not supposed to acknowledge the physical and mental toll that motherhood takes on our bodies and our minds.
“In a time when new moms are often expected to be overjoyed and reveling in ‘newborn bliss,’ it can be hard to admit that you are struggling,” says Bronstein.
Finding help and support for postpartum rage
Even though a formal postpartum rage diagnosis doesn’t exist (yet?), support is still available. That begins with acknowledging that you need help: “Being honest with your OB/GYN or a trusted healthcare provider is a crucial first step,” says Bronstein. “From there, you can work together on a treatment plan that might include therapy, ideally with someone who specializes in PMADs, and possibly medication, especially if symptoms are tied to depression or anxiety.”
Other tips Bronstein recommends include seeking out a support group “with other new parents who ‘get it,’” as well as making some lifestyle adjustments like improved sleep, additional social support (call or text that friend you’ve been meaning to reconnect with!), and light exercise. “Organizations like Postpartum Support International can be great resources for additional information and connection to local resources and therapists,” advises Bronstein.
For new moms reading this article, Bronstein assures them that “it’s common to experience a wide range of emotions after giving birth, and you don't have to go through this alone.”
Regan echoes that sentiment: “Postpartum rage can come out of the blue, and sometimes there’s no rhyme or reason as to why moms experience it.” She also emphasizes that experiencing postpartum rage “doesn’t make [you] a failure,” even though, as she tells Rescripted, her inner thoughts initially convinced her that she was.
“If you feel like symptoms are interfering with your day-to-day life, reach out to a trusted healthcare provider or other supports in your life,” advises Bronstein. “It's important to find a care team that listens to and respects you, and you deserve to have quality care during this time of transition.”
Sarene Leeds holds an M.S. in Professional Writing from NYU, and is a seasoned journalist dedicated to reporting on women's health, parenting, mental health, TV, and pop culture. Her work has appeared in HuffPost, Rolling Stone, The Wall Street Journal, Vulture, SheKnows, and numerous other outlets. Subscribe to her Substack, the Critical Communicator, and follow her on Instagram, BlueSky, or Threads.