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Sex during pregnancy can be a bit of a rollercoaster. One minute, you're feeling in the mood thanks to all those pregnancy hormones, and the next, you're wincing because, well... it hurts. If sex has started feeling uncomfortable (or downright painful), you’re not alone. Many pregnant people experience this at some point, and while it can be frustrating, there are ways to make it better.
Let’s break it down — why sex can hurt during pregnancy, what’s normal, when to check in with a doctor, and how to keep things feeling good (or at least better).
Is it normal for sex to hurt while pregnant?
First things first: some discomfort during sex while pregnant is relatively common (with around 21% of pregnant women reporting “clinically significant pain during intercourse”) and usually not a cause for alarm. Your body is going through a lot right now — hormonal shifts, increased blood flow, an expanding uterus, and a whole new level of sensitivity in places you might not expect.
Many women experience increased sensitivity or mild discomfort during pregnancy sex, especially as their pregnancy progresses. This can range from a slight twinge to more noticeable pain. Every pregnancy is unique, and what's normal for one woman might not be for another.
So some discomfort during sex is common, but persistent or severe pain isn’t something you have to just put up with. If it's making you dread intimacy, it's worth figuring out what’s going on and how to make it more comfortable.
Why is sex so painful during pregnancy?
Understanding why sex might hurt during pregnancy can help you feel more in control and less worried. There are a few reasons why sex might suddenly feel different (or just ouch):
Hormonal changes = super sensitivity
The cocktail of pregnancy hormones ramps up blood flow to the pelvic area, which can make everything feel more. For some, that means increased pleasure; for others, it means discomfort or an aching, pressure-like sensation during or after sex.
Feeling more dry down there
Despite all the extra hormones, some people experience unexpected vaginal dryness, especially in early pregnancy. This can make penetration feel uncomfortable or even cause a burning sensation. A little bit of water-based lube can work wonders.
Some studies have also shown that sexual desire can diminish later in pregnancy, too, which could be part of the reason why your body isn’t (ahem) providing natural lubrication.
Your uterus is expanding (and pushing everything around)
As your uterus grows, it starts pressing on everything else — your bladder, cervix, and even nerves in your pelvis. Some positions that used to feel great might suddenly feel like hitting a pressure point in the worst way.
Cervical sensitivity
Your cervix is changing, too — softening, shifting, and sometimes becoming extra sensitive. If penetration feels particularly deep or uncomfortable, this could be why. Some people even experience light spotting after sex due to increased blood flow in the cervix, which can be alarming but is often harmless.
Feeling all the emotions
Pregnancy is a wild mix of emotions. Stress, anxiety, or body image concerns can affect arousal and muscle tension, making sex less enjoyable (or more painful). If you’re feeling self-conscious or just not in the mood, forcing it won’t help. Give yourself grace and communicate with your partner about what feels good right now.
Pelvic floor changes
Your pelvic floor muscles are working overtime to support your growing uterus, which can lead to tension and discomfort. For some people, this extra tension can make sex feel tighter, more painful, or even cause post-sex cramping. Pelvic floor physiotherapy can help loosen up these muscles and make sex (and childbirth) more comfortable. If you're experiencing ongoing pain, a specialist can assess whether your muscles are too tense or need strengthening.
Can painful sex lead to miscarriage?
This is a common worry for many pregnant women, but rest assured: in most cases, sex during pregnancy, even if it's a bit uncomfortable, does not increase the risk of miscarriage. Your baby is well-protected in the amniotic sac, cushioned by fluid, and guarded by the strong muscles of the uterus.
Even orgasms, which can cause mild uterine contractions, aren’t harmful. However, if you have a high-risk pregnancy (such as placenta previa, a history of pre-term labor, or unexplained bleeding), your doctor might advise modifying or avoiding certain sexual activities.
When in doubt, check in with your healthcare provider for reassurance.
In which month of pregnancy should sex be stopped?
Good news: for most women with uncomplicated pregnancies, there's no need to stop having sex at any point. You can continue to enjoy intimacy right up until your water breaks or labor begins, as long as you're comfortable and your healthcare provider hasn't advised otherwise. Some reasons might be placenta previa, cervical insufficiency, or a history of pre-term labor (since some studies have shown a link between sex in the last week of pregnancy and the onset of labor).
That said, your body will let you know when it's just not happening. In the first trimester, nausea and exhaustion might kill the mood. In the third trimester, your belly might make things logistically challenging (or just too much effort). In fact, some studies have shown that the third trimester is when couples have the least amount of penetrative sex, so if that sounds familiar, it’s not just you. Listen to your body and do what feels good — for you.
How to make sex less painful when pregnant
If sex is uncomfortable but you still want to be intimate, here are some ways to make it better:
Use lube
The many changes of pregnancy can make things drier than usual. A little bit of water-based lubricant can help reduce friction and make penetration more comfortable — don’t be shy, lots of couples use lube!
Change up positions
Some positions just won’t do it for you right now. Missionary can start feeling suffocating in the second or third trimester, and deep penetration might hit your cervix in a not-so-fun way. Positions where you control the depth and angle — like side-lying, being on top, or using pillows for support — are often more comfortable. Experiment to find what feels good for you.
Prioritize foreplay
When penetration isn’t the vibe, focusing on foreplay can help. It increases arousal, enhances natural lubrication, and makes everything feel more enjoyable.
Take it slow
Your body is extra sensitive, so easing into things (instead of rushing) can make a big difference. Give your body time to adjust and become aroused.
Listen to your body
Some days, sex will feel great. On other days, the idea of anyone touching you might make you want to scream. Either way, it’s okay. Communicate with your partner, and don’t push yourself if it doesn’t feel right.
Explore alternatives
Remember, intimacy doesn't always have to mean penetration. Explore other ways to connect with your partner.
What positions should be avoided during pregnancy?
While there's no one-size-fits-all answer, some positions might be less comfortable or safe as your pregnancy progresses:
- Missionary position (lying on your back): After the first trimester, lying flat can compress a major blood vessel (the vena cava), which can make you feel dizzy or nauseous. Plus, it’s just not comfortable with a growing belly.
- Deep penetration positions: Positions that allow for very deep penetration (like doggy style) might hit the cervix in an uncomfortable way. If it feels too intense, adjusting angles or opting for shallower penetration can help.
Instead, try positions that give you control over the depth and speed of penetration. Side-lying, woman-on-top, "spooning", or edge-of-the-bed positions often work well for pregnant women.
When to seek help
While some discomfort during pregnancy sex is normal, certain symptoms warrant immediate medical attention. Contact your healthcare provider if you experience:
- Severe pain during or after sex
- Bleeding or spotting
- Leaking amniotic fluid
- Contractions that don't stop after sex
Remember, your healthcare provider is there to help. Don't hesitate to discuss any concerns about sex during pregnancy with them. They can provide personalized advice based on your specific situation.
Embracing intimacy during pregnancy
If sex during pregnancy is painful, you’re not alone. Your body is changing in ways that can make intimacy feel different — sometimes amazing, sometimes uncomfortable. The key is listening to your body, adjusting as needed, and communicating with your partner.
And if sex just isn’t on the table for now? That’s okay, too. Pregnancy is temporary, and there are plenty of other ways to connect with your partner in the meantime. If pain is persistent or severe, don’t hesitate to check in with your healthcare provider. Your comfort and well-being matter.
Remember, there's no "right" way to approach sex during pregnancy. What matters most is that you feel comfortable, safe, and respected in your choices. Embrace this unique time in your life, and don't be afraid to redefine intimacy on your own terms.
Tassia O'Callaghan is an experienced content writer and strategist, having written about a vast range of topics from chemical regulations to parenting, for brands like Peanut App Ltd, Scary Mommy, Tally Workspace, and Office Christmas. She's an advocate for realistic sustainable living, supporting small businesses (author of A-Z of Marketing for Small Businesses), and equity across all walks of life. Follow her on LinkedIn or TikTok, or see more of her work on Authory or her website.