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Think back to the first time you got your period. The experience was probably scary, overwhelming…and embarrassing.
Of course embarrassment *shouldn't* factor in when you’re experiencing something so natural, but when you’re coming of age, embarrassment is a part of most major life experiences (especially those that involve blood flowing from your vagina).
Part of the embarrassment around periods, especially that first period, involves *when* it actually happens for you. As someone who hit puberty young, I know how shameful it can be to get your period before most kids in your class do. On the flip side, I imagine girls who don’t have their periods while all their friends do feel something similar. And even if you’re somewhere in the middle, that first time you see blood in your underwear can be a lot to process. There may even be some trauma involved.
Could period baskets be the answer?
Look, there’s not much about getting your period that is pleasant. And sure, at some point, it just becomes a part of your life, but even then it can be a real pain — literally and figuratively.
As you learn to live with your period, you find things that make the menstrual phase more bearable. Maybe a trusty heating pad, or some over-the-counter medication, or a chocolate bar that you eat while snuggled up on the couch.
Having someone who anticipates those needs for you can be a great thing. Enter the period basket: A care package of sorts filled with all the things someone may need during the menstrual phase.
Period baskets have gained popularity thanks to, of course, social media. People are sharing the baskets they’re making for the women and girls in their lives, from husbands making the baskets for their wives, to moms making period baskets for their daughters.
But here’s where it gets tricky
As a grown woman, I am still working on being completely open about my own menstrual health. But as a young girl who was just entering that phase of life? I would have been mortified if someone publicly spoke about my periods.
Once again, embarrassment should never be part of the equation where periods are concerned. But imagine being a tween.
Now imagine your mom puts a period basket full of essentials together for you. You’d probably feel loved and cared for, right?
But then, imagine your mom posts about this period basket on social media. Maybe she has a few hundred followers, or maybe she has a few hundred thousand. Either way, everyone who comes across that video knows you’ve gotten your first period, which is information you probably didn’t want to make public.
Making someone a period basket can be a really sweet gesture, but it needs to be handled with sensitivity. And I’ll say it: Publicizing your daughter’s menstrual status in order to share the idea on social media feels insensitive.
A period gift basket is a nice gesture, but it’s not enough
On the one hand, period baskets acknowledge the real symptoms women face during their menstrual phases. They give us the tools to help us manage those symptoms, too: From a heating pad and pain relief to address cramps, to a little treat to combat those cravings. Women shouldn’t have to suffer and live in pain, and by making someone a period basket, you’re giving them some tools to reduce some of the discomfort.
But at the same time, we need so much more
We need systemic acknowledgement of what women go through while menstruating. We need women to be taken seriously when they express concerns about their menstrual health. We need to denormalize women’s pain. We need to de-stigmatize menstrual health, and give women space to talk about their periods without being told it’s “TMI”.
And in some ways, the period basket trend does do that. Making someone a period basket the same way you would give someone a Valentine’s day basket or a care package when they have the flu does frame periods as what they are — just another reality of life.
But even for grown women who have shaken off some of the stigma around periods, the period basket trend feels a little bit like putting a bandaid on a bullet hole.
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When it comes to menstrual health, there are so many large-scale issues that need to be tackled. Globally, period poverty is a very real thing that needs to be addressed. But right here in the United States, women struggle to afford menstrual care products too. Many women who could really benefit from menstrual leave (or at the very least, adequate sick time off from their jobs that they could use if they’re facing debilitating period pain). And of course, women are still facing medical gaslighting when trying to find answers to their menstrual health concerns (because while some discomfort comes with the territory of periods, debilitating pain every single cycle is not something you should just have to deal with).
Period baskets are cute, but we’ve got to keep fighting for larger solutions
If you want to make a period basket for a friend, a niece, or your daughter? I say go for it! But maybe keep it off social media, unless the person in question gives you unequivocal consent to share. Personally, I might have to suggest this idea to my own husband, because there is something really meaningful about being cared for in this way while you’re feeling unwell.
But we still need to advocate for better care for women and people who menstruate. We still need to shift the way we handle menstrual health, both culturally and institutionally.
Speaking of institutional change, let’s make one thing clear: Girls and women don’t have enough information about their bodies. If you’re a parent of a girl, please make sure you talk to her about periods. Make sure she knows she doesn’t have to be ashamed of her body. Make sure she is prepared for what will come (and may come sooner than you think). Consider making her a small period kit (either in lieu of or in addition to a period basket) of essentials to keep in her backpack or locker — that way, if she unexpectedly gets her period while at school, she’s prepared.
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, most girls get their periods between ages 10 and 15, with an average age of 12. Typically, girls get their periods around two years after their breasts start to develop, and may have some vaginal discharge for six months to a year before her period begins.
Having frank, shame-free conversations with girls who are about to undergo puberty can be so key in setting them up for lifelong healthy relationships with their own menstrual health…. with or without a period basket factoring into the equation.
Zara Hanawalt is a freelance journalist and mom of twins. She's written for outlets like Vogue, Parents, Marie Claire, Elle, Cosmopolitan, Motherly, and many others. In her (admittedly limited!) free time, she enjoys cooking, reading, trying new restaurants, and traveling with her family.