Orgasm. The word alone can cause some women anxiety. For others, it’s an immediate excitement. More often than not, in media — films, television shows, etc — women orgasm easily, euphorically, and intensely.
The truth is, however, that orgasms come in all different forms. They vary in intensity and length depending on the type of stimulation and the stimulated spot in the body.
Let’s talk about all things vaginal orgasms: how common they are, how they occur, what they are, and what they look like for most women. We’ll also share some other ways women can experience pleasure that don’t solely focus on vaginal orgasms. After all, we all deserve to feel good.
Where is the female G-spot, exactly?
The G-spot, named after Dr. Ernst Grafenberg, who first described it in the 1950s, is an area on the front wall of the vagina about 2-3 inches inside. This spot is believed to have increased sensitivity for many women and can be stimulated manually with fingers, a curved sex toy, or during penetrative sex with a partner.
“It’s important not to overstate the role of this area because it’s also normal if you don’t feel very much when this part of your body is stimulated. It doesn’t mean you’re broken. In fact, most women need clitoral stimulation to reliably orgasm,” explains Suzannah Weiss, a sexologist at BedBible, AASECT-certified sex educator and sex/love coach with a master's degree in sexual health.
Data shows that only about 25% of women orgasm consistently during intercourse.
Therefore, some women may prefer to use toys or manual practices to stimulate their G-spot to full orgasm or to increase arousal before penetrative sex. Weiss recommends curved dildos, such as the Dame Arc, LELO Gigi 2, or NJoy Pure Wand, or toys that offer both clitoral and vaginal stimulation, such as the Lovehoney Dream Rabbit, or the Womanizer Duo 2.
“To manually stimulate the G-spot, you or your partner can insert a finger or two and make a ‘come-hither’ motion, stroking the upper wall of the vagina. The most pleasurable area will vary from person to person, so communicate with your partner about what placement of the fingers feels best,” says Weiss.
During penetrative intercourse, you might find that a missionary position with your partner's hips moving in an upward motion successfully stimulates the G-spot. Some women find that a doggy or cowgirl position feels the best. Always communicate with your partner and listen to your body.
How do you know if you've had a vaginal orgasm?
You might be reading this and wondering if you’ve even ever had a vaginal orgasm. Most women orgasm from clitoral stimulation, but it is a different sensation when you vaginally orgasm.
“It is common to feel as if you have to pee when you are engaging in G-spot stimulation. This is likely a sign of squirting — not that you actually have to pee — although you can pee before sex to alleviate this worry. If you bear down with your vaginal muscles as if you are pushing something out, this can increase your chances of squirting,” explains Weiss.
If you don't think you’ve ever experienced this sensation, don’t worry! There isn’t one right way to orgasm or enjoy yourself during sex. There are upwards of a dozen “happy endings.” Some include clitoral, anal, erogenous, or a combination of a few different sensations.
Let go, and have fun!
“Even if you do not orgasm through intercourse alone, combining your favorite form of vaginal stimulation with clitoral stimulation — via your hand, your partner’s hand, or a vibrator — can have highly pleasurable results,” says Weiss.
Listening to your body and its sensations, as well as, communicating with your partner can increase your chances of having a more pleasurable experience. When you are relaxed and having fun, that’s when the magic happens.
Brighid Flynn is a freelance writer based in Philadelphia where she lives with her husband and puppy. She is just beginning her journey toward motherhood.